Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Why are ex-Mormons so interesting?

Monday, June 12th, 2006

I stumbled across a couple of new blogs recently and both of them belong to ex-Mormons. I know several ex-Mormons and I was starting to wonder why we find recovering Mormons so fascinating. Is it the magic underwear they have to wear all the time? The secret handshakes? The marrying and baptizing of the dead? Is it the endless proselytizing they do in their ever familiar clothes on their ever familiar bicycles, and their little name tags, Hello, I’m Brother Jones?

I’m not an expert on these subjects, but I’d venture to guess that the more weird things a religion makes its adherents do, the greater the fascination for those who used to practice it. It’s because they seem cultish that we’re fascinated by the Mormons, and even more so with the Christian Scientists. I mean, aliens? As a basis for a religion? Doesn’t that sound crazy? And how do you get a mass group of people to behave identically if you’re not brainwashing them just a little?!

No one bats an eye when they find out I’m an ex-Christian. No one asks me questions; no one wants to hear stories. We non-denominational Christians have no rituals and it’s the rituals we’re fascinated with. The ritualistic underwear, the ritualized ceremonies. Secret handshakes are a sign of elite access. So is being granted priesthood, or entry to the temple. It’s so seductive. That kind of access. One step closer to enlightenment.

Maybe religion is just another form of brainwashing — some religions milder than others. Doesn’t brainwashing just mean that one learns to not think for oneself anymore? That you think what you’re told to think? God is your saviour; you shall not want. And heaven awaits you behind pearly gates, above the softest of clouds.

I was thinking about my mom recently. Wondering where she was, then wondering why the hell would I phrase it that way? She’s gone. Decomposing in the ground. And I was wondering is there an epiphany at the end for believers? Do they see death for what it is before they die, or are they spared that horror?

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Christians my ass

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

my son went on a trip with my mother’s church down in southern california. he enjoyed the trip, but when i asked if he’d met any interesting people he said no. he said that most of them weren’t nice. he made one new friend, but didn’t like most of the other boys. and he told me why and it just broke my heart. and i just wanted to hug him and hold him. children are so cruel. they say such mean things to each other. so relentlessly.

the weekend before last i’d listened to a radio program on how cruel young girls were. 10, 11 year olds in canada. how relationships are so important to girls and because we’re socialized to not be overtly agressive, we take out our anger and hurt and frustration by sabotaging the relationships of other girls — the things we hold the nearest and dearest to our hearts, we break.

some girls go home every day with their hearts broken. i’m sure some boys do, too. and what can you do as an adult? how do you teach your child to cope with that? if your kid is just being psychologically damaged, there isn’t anything you can do. you can’t control the children around your child. you can do your best to teach your kid to be tolerant, to communicate, to work out problems, to not purposely hurt people, but it doesn’t necessarily shield them from those kids out there that don’t have those skills.

i think the hardest part of being a parent is knowing that your child hurts and feeling like you can’t do anything about it. and when you’re so far away, you can’t even wrap your arms around him to comfort him. and yourself.

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Evolutionary role of religion

Wednesday, August 18th, 2004

Interesting article by Dawkins. I read the article because I thought it would attempt to answer that question — what the purpose of religion was. What evolutionary advantage does belief in a religion give us? But it doesn’t really answer that question. A friend of mine pointed out that it doesn’t answer the question of the title so much as makes you think about the way we ask ourselves these questions. I like how Dawkins uses computer viruses as an analogy for religion.

On another religious note: _Cheap Complex Devices_. I’ve been meaning to write about this book because I found it so fascinating. You probably don’t want to read any more if you intend to read the book because I don’t want to spoil it for you. But I was really excited about the book when I got it and read the cover. I even read the forward and part of the intro before I read the story (I always do that afterwards so I don’t know too much going in). The meta story about the story is great in and of itself. But it’s not what the forward makes you believe it is — you get that much before you finish the story, but apart from the disappointment in that, it was still a fabulous read. An interesting and complex intermingling of sexual thoughts, religious thoughts, and computer thoughts — specifically, system level functioning.

What is it about the these basest of things that seem to inextricably combined? Sex and religion have been intertwined for as long as humans have been around. Sex has an obvious evolutionary role, and so does religion or it wouldn’t still exist. Is technology the next evolutionary step? As base and as fundamental as sex and god? Or is the mix more cultural — that these things are so pervasive now and so personal that writing about one leads to writing about the other? I think it’s both. I’ve been meaning to research this topic more…will write more when I do.

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The seduction of prayer

Monday, August 16th, 2004

I am not a religious person. I have no faith in anything except for science and technology. I believe everything has a rational explanation. And if it doesn’t, it’s only because we haven’t figured it out yet. Yet, the desire to pray still haunts me. It’s a little ritual, something I used to do a lot. Driving down any given freeway, I’d be praying all the time. Mostly not for myself. But every time I passed a motorcyclist with no gear on, every time I passed an accident or a car pulled over on the side of the road, every time I drove in bad weather I prayed for the safety of my friends, family, and loved ones should they also happen to be on the road. I prayed during flight take offs and landings. I prayed if there was debris on the freeway so no one would get hurt. I prayed incessantly, hypnotically, habitually.

I was raised as a nondenominational, nonCatholic Christian. We went to Presbyterian churches, Baptist churches, nondenominational churches. When I lost faith in their god, I still believed in spirituality — in reincarnation, karma, the wiccan faith or any faith similar to it with a more holistic view of the world. I prayed to something that I named a goddess, but only because I’d prayed to god for so long. I didn’t actually believe there was a goddess for very long, but addressed all my prayers to her out of habit.

I don’t know when I lost all faith. When I met Ed I still had some of it and that was over 4 years ago. I have none now. But lately I’ve been catching myself starting to say prayers like I used to. For a couple of weeks it seemed like every time I got on the road I saw a horrible, horrible, heart rending car accident. Sometimes I’d just start bawling like it was my own personal loss — I was emotionally fragile.

There’s something sweet and comfortable about faith in something that you can’t explain or understand logically. Because it makes everything so much easier. If you can’t figure it out, or you can’t come up with a reasonable explanation for it, then it’s a good way to ease your mind of it. Why is the world falling apart around you? Why did you lose your job, your car, your child? Why can’t you get ahead in the world? Why do you feel like shit all the time? Why can’t you find a perfect mate, a housebroken dog, your favorite punk song on iTunes? Why? Cause you’re not meant to. Or maybe it’s just not your time. Maybe it’s a sign that you need to suffer more, and good things will come your way. People can’t get past their spirits/souls/essences — whether they’re good or bad — so you have to forgive them, accept them for what they are and move on. I can see why you’d want to believe that, hide behind it. Because what do I have when I’m knee high in shit and the world is falling apart all around me? Nothing. Just me. I’m tired of being strong. Someone get me a fucking shovel.

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