There are studies that have shown that being outstanding at something has more to do with years of practice and training than with any innate ability, and Chua’s parenting method takes advantage of this to drill sargeant her daughters into what they are: amazing students and amazing musicians.

My parenting method is as Western as it gets. According to Chua, “Western” parenting comes in a variety of forms, and she uses the term “Chinese parenting” to not only mean Chinese mothers (and not all Chinese mothers), but also some Korean, Indian, and other mothers using this parenting method.

The parenting involves strictly regimenting the child’s life, allowing her only limited social time. It includes harsh criticism when the parent’s high expectations are not met, hours and hours devoted to studying and practicing, and an expectation she will excel at everything and if she doesn’t it’s because she didn’t try hard enough and not because she can’t. The possibility that she can’t excel at everything doesn’t exist: a tiger mother believes her child fully capable of achieving what she expects of her. The desired outcome is a child who grows into a successful adult who believes she is capable of anything she puts her mind and focus into. Now, who wouldn’t want a child that grows into that kind of self confident, high achieving adult?

I think we focus on the belittling and the harsh words and forced hours of work, and get caught up in how abusive and cruel those things seem to be. But we see it from a very Western perspective that teaches us that we are all individuals and should be respected to make our own choices. But children don’t make good choices. They’d eat candy and sit in front of the TV all day if you let them.

I haven’t finished the book yet, but so far, I think it may be limited in scope. Chua’s girls are good girls so the outcome of her parenting — whatever we think of it — is positive. But what about those kids who have been parented like this and don’t succeed? I wonder if they exist and if there are any studies about them.

I don’t think I could parent quite like this, but I could definitely benefit from some of the lessons from this book. Because kids do make poor choices and a parent’s role is to prepare them for adult life.

I always say that I was such a rebellious teen because my parents were so strict. And that may be true, but I also grew up into a strong and independent person who believes she can do anything she wants to. But success requires hard work. “Chinese” mothers really just want their kids to live the American dream, just better than everyone else.

I am easily amused. I’ve been threatening to get rid of cable TV for like a year now. You know what I’m going to miss the most? The commercials. Not all of them, just the good ones. Like this one.

Lyrics:
Where my gifts, Santa? I’ve been good. Better bring me sport equipment like you should! Where you at Santa? I ain’t playin’. I’ve got a nice crib to park your sleigh on. Where those elves, where your wife? You bring me the fancy electric knife. You don’t know me Santa. I’ve been good. I’ve got plenty of milk and cookies in my hood. Fa la la LA LA. Ho ho ho. Fa la la LA LA. Ho ho ho.

I do it so infrequently, I completely forget how painful it’s going to be. It’s probably why I wait an entire year to go back because it takes that long to wipe out the memory of the pain. I tend to laugh as a coping mechanism for a variety of reasons and excruciating pain is one of them so every time she’d yank a strip of hair off, I’d start giggling. We were talking about all sorts of things, and everything made me laugh. I probably sounded high.

It started off nice and easy — the edges weren’t as densely populated so it hurt less. Then the searing pain. The “want to gouge out the eyes of this person who’s doing this to me” pain. The “oh my god, what the hell was I thinking” pain. And the “good lord, I can’t take anymore pain”. Oh yes. Anyone who tells you it doesn’t hurt is a big fat fucking LIAR!

Coincidentally, I happened to catch a bit of the Daily Show the other day when he was talking about how Chicago lost out to Rio de Janeiro in their bid for the 2016 Oympics and he makes a crack about bikini waxes. It starts at 4:10 in the clip below, though the whole thing is funny if you want to watch it in its entirety.

Of course, for me the fact that the main progtagonist is a geek boy who wins over the hot chick doesn’t hurt the story. You know I love the geek boys and love it even more when they win. And yeah, it’s a movie, but I believe that geek boys not only deserve super hot chicks, but they can get them too.

So here’s some relationship advice for geeks that I’ve gleaned from that fabulous movie:

1. DON’T try to date the super hot chick that has nothing else going for her
   Listen, forget about 406 (the hot chick that lives two rooms down from you). She may be sizzling hot to look at, but if that’s all she’s got going for her, she’s not for you. She will only come to you when she needs something, then take advantage of you as soon as she needs to too (like when her zombie lust for brains takes over and she needs to feed on you).
2. DON’T date the super hot chick that has no one else but you (a complete stranger) to turn to when she needs help
   Look, I know it’s nice to be seen as the hero and all, but if she’s got no one else she can turn to in her desperate time of need, the girl has relationship problems.
3. DO go for the hot chick who’s got brains
   You don’t want an intellectually inferior girl. Trust me, you’re too smart for that. You want someone that can match wits with you. Someone that can outwit the brain thirsty zombies just as well as you can. She’ll improve your life by adding to it rather than draining your energies like a lesser girl might. Plus an intellectual chick will not only understand you better, but will appreciate you more.
4. DO go for the hot chick who’ll kill for her sister
   You want someone that really loves people. Someone who’ll kill to protect her family from the advancing hordes of the undead. Because someone like that knows how to form deep attachments and you don’t want a shallow kind of love, do you?
5. DO be patient
   An intellectual gal is likely to be a little headstrong and independent. This isn’t necessarily a fear of commitment or a lack of interest in you, it’s simply that she’s more thoughtful about who she’s going to get emotionally involved with. She’s thinking about you and weighing her options. This works in your favor because you have a lot going for you. You’re smart, you’re sweet, and you’re dedicated to her and this will probably win her over in the end.
6. DON’T be afraid to kiss her
   She may be smart and independent and strong, but a girl doesn’t mind you making the first move. Take a risk and give the poor girl a kiss. If she hesitates, then maybe you should go back to step 5. If she pulls away in disgust, then she’s probably not interested. Or you have a zombie coming at you from behind.

Kitty drinking inefficiently from a faucet – Watch more free videos at break.com

If you know me at all, you know that I often update my gmail status message with my current favorite lolcat. Most of them suck — which you’d think would make me check the site less, not more, but I think every time I see a sucky one, I think to myself — a good one is on its way, it has to be! My current favorite:

(click to see full size)

My son today said to me: “‘god is your problem?’ Aren’t you going to offend aunt Jess?” (my status message says “god is your problem” and links to that lolcat.) You know, as is, ooohhhhh, you haz a ceiling cat….that’s why you haz problums. Get rid of the ceiling cat, you’ll be fine.

I took a poll of my friends once and asked them if any of them were as obsessed with that site as I was. Three male, three female. Two of the guys weren’t even interested. One of them gets a kick out of lolcats, but answered “No” to 3 out of 4 questions. One of the girls didn’t know what icanhascheezburger.com was, but the other two answered yes to most of my questions. Mabye it’s cause the site is full of adorable, anthropomorphized little animals. The site literally makes me want to get a cat — sometimes it makes me go browse real-life kitten listings and I fantasize about taking photos of it and making up cute little captions.

The whole lolcat meme is fascinating to me. I think especially because it’s streaming into real life now. In San Francisco, they painted a lolcat mural, and then there’s this flier that’s been going around for a while now: Mising lolcat; responds to “cheezburger”. My girlfriend (the one above who didn’t know what icanhascheezburger even was!) saw that flier in Bernal Heights the other day and took a photo of it for me!

What is it about being able to make fun of the world and current events, and god and the devil, and everything in between with cats and dogs and hamsters and inanimate objects with faces that we all find so fascinating? It just must be true — no one can resist the cute.

I’ll admit to having a long time fascination with serial killers. I used to read true crime novels (those hideously unliterary little mass market books) when I was a kid and was always especially interested in the serial killers — the ones that were compelled to repeat their rituals over and over and over again. I see in my son this same fascination with death. The last time he was here he picked up a death encyclopedia. I told him he could pick between that and a coloring book on brain anatomy (we were at Paxton Gate). I was hoping to color the amygdala with him and talk about anatomy or something foolishly educational. Of course, he chose the book that catalogued different ways people died and when (which, btw, he’s learned quite a lot from), and I picked up a black and white photograph of what looked like a pile of dead dolls.

My fascination with murderers is partly why I love crime dramas. Though I also love them because each episode is discrete — you don’t have to watch an entire season to get it. Sure, there are some insignificant narratives that arc through a season, but I’m only interested in the crime. That human relationship stuff always makes me impatient.

Last night, I saw the most gruesome CSI episode: Pirates of the Third Reich. Why is it that every strong, independent, intelligent, attractive woman on TV just happens to own a pair of knee high black leather boots and a matching bull whip for just the right occassion? Like whipping your daughter’s murderer to death. The episode was about a methodically organized serial killer (much like Dexter). And in both the CSI episode and the Dexter series, there is just enough gore to be a little scary, but not enough to make me turn away.

The thing with Dexter is that he really doesn’t seem that off. The things he thinks aren’t so foreign to me. I was thinking tonight how it’s a little like anthropomorphizing an animal. Not that I would equate a human being to, say, a cat, though arguably you could say that by society’s standards, serial killers aren’t “human”. But, it’s a little like that — attributing feelings and thoughts to something, a person in this case, that don’t actually exist. But in the series, Dexter’s desire to fit in, to live a normal life — isn’t that what we all want? Maybe it’s harder for some of us than for others, or maybe I don’t understand your average person very well, or god forbid, maybe I’m giving away too much about myself when I say that I can relate to what that character thinks. I feel like he’s just a lonely, longing person who feels like he’s missing something, play acting through life, a different mask for different situations, and I think many of us have felt the same way. And I think that’s the point the show is making — that he’s a serial killer, but he’s still just a person like you and me.

The cinematography is gorgeous. The scenes from the opening credits make the mundane look threatening and murderous. It’s like an mini allegory for the entire series. And you would have never thought that a butchered, bloodless body wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine could be beautiful. But I promise you, it is.

The musical was really good! We had a biggish group — eight of us, and every single one of us had a good time. We were talking about it well after we left the show — and some of us were still thinking of it today. My favorite (and possible spoilers coming up in case you don’t want to read ahead) characters were the Bad Idea Bears. Just imagine the cutest little baby puppet voices on Sesame Street giving you horrendous, unsolicited advice, then being really, really heartbreakingly sad when you don’t take it. For example: you’re depressed, your friends, the Bad Idea Bears, come to visit. In his sweet little baby voice, one says, you should hang yourself while the other one runs offstage, comes back, and in her sweetest little baby voice says (as she hands you a noose) with this piece of rope I found!. Their suggestions are so awful, but their enthusiasm is so contagious, and my goodness, you don’t want to hurt two of the cutest little baby monsters you’ve ever seen, do you?!

Ed said he heard something on the radio about how it’s supposed to be like life lessons for adults. It’s not just a parody of Sesame Street — it is Sesame Street fror adults. There are all these shows and educational programs about how to be a kid, a teen, a college student. What about when we leave college and we have all our fool headed ideas about what adulthood is like? Where are our educational programs about how to deal with our ever growing bills, or how to save money when you’re making minimum wage, or how it’s ok to have no idea what you want to do with your life even though you’re in your 30’s? What about those lessons, huh?!

Well, this show is it. It tells you straight up how a B.A. in English is a useless degree, how there’s a fine line between love and a waste of time, how everyone’s a little bit racist, depression isn’t uncommon, life is mundane, not everyone knows what their purpose in life is, the more you love someone, the more you want to kill that person, throwing pennies off super tall buildings is bad, the internet is for porn, everyone’s a little empty inside, and even well educated people can’t get a job. I feel so smart because I’m so familiar with all these lessons — it’s like reading ahead for the exam. Except the exam is every damn day. Thank god I have a good sense of humor and singing puppets are funny.

The show only runs until the end of this week (Sept 2) in San Francisco so see it if you can. You can find a list of other tour dates on the official Avenue Q website.

speaking of tv…last night i watched four hours of law and order (well, 3 then a closer). i was over at ed’s — i meant to just do laundry and then go, but those law and orders start right up after one’s ended and it doesn’t even give you time to disengage yourself from the couch. i had to drag myself out at midnight so i could go home and sleep, and i was afraid i’d get mugged in the parking lot of the condo complex he lives in.

then i was afraid to go upstairs into my loft for fear someone was up there. the whole time i was taking a bath, i kept thinking, wow…now would be a really good time to come kill me — i’m naked in the tub without my contacts in. before i went to bed: should i leave my front door unlatched in case the police come and have to break the door down?

random acts of violence aside — it’s love you should worry about. four crime drama episodes and they all involved murder and love. in one, a daughter poisons her mother and puts her in a coma (ok, she doesn’t actually die, but wouldn’t you rather be dead than in a coma?), a mother kills her son (who totally randomly killed people, but he was schizophrenic), in another one an italian mobster’s son kills his father’s beloved mistress, and in the fourth, a nice catholic girl kills her boyfriend when she finds out he’s actually a girl — by mashing her head in, then shooting her in the face, then she cuts off her hair and strips off her clothes.

yup. love is what you want to avoid if you wanna live a long time ;)

In walked this big, bad-ass baboon into my bedroom
with 3 monkey whores
“Hi, my name is Sunshine. These are my girls.
Lace my palm with silver baby oh yeah
and they’ll rock your world”

(Though none of us ordered any monkey whores.)

And black humor, too. I caught a bit of the Dave Chappelle show last week and heard the funniest expression that I’ll never be able to use: mad niggerish. Charlie Murphy walking into Studio 54 and seeing Rick James acting all mad niggerish slapping bitches and shit.

We went TV shopping this past weekend, and I’m thinking about spending over a thousand dollars on a TV set. I don’t get to watch it a lot, but when I do, I love television — commercials and all. And I want quality TV (and a TV I can actually see from the couch) — a 30″ high definition flat screen TV. Though hopefully I’ll come to my senses and make a more reasonable first TV purchase.

It’s funny how long I went without a TV and that I didn’t really miss it — especially given how much I love it. I only wish we had HBO.

But now that I have my entire collection on mypod, I often listen to it on shuffle. If I’m running, I listen to one of my playlists with fast, loud music on it, and if I’m in a particular mood, I listen to a particular album, but usually it’s on shuffle. At first I loved it — hearing songs I’d forgotten about or didn’t even know I had. But a few months of that and I was bored with my collection. Sometimes I purposely don’t use the iPod so that I can still be able to listen to it again.

So I’ve begun to consume a lot more music. Used CDs (because new CDs are horrendously expensive) when I’m not sure what I want and need to browse, but mostly using iTunes — where music is often cheaper than buying new CDs and you get it immediately (well, almost immediately — you still have to wait for all of it to download).

But I’ve also been thinking about how tied I am to iTunes. Which, of course, is exactly what Apple wants, right? I can’t create a new playlist without iTunes, I can’t add new music without iTunes. What good is my iPod when I don’t have my mac near me? My mac is no longer my work computer so I don’t have it with me at work on a daily basis so I’ve really begun to notice how useless the iPod is if I want to customize my music without iTunes. I could use it as a harddrive and muck with the files on there, but I can’t play any of the music that’s on there that’s not in my iTunes library without having mypod attached to a computer. Clever, those Apple folks. And selfish, too.

And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. If I could buy the commercial I would — I want a quality copy of it, but no one seems to sell commercials — at least not that one anyway. And I know this question gets asked repeatedly — but where is the harm in what I am doing — I as in me, not I in a general, all of us are Is, kind of way. Having this commercial in my posession so that I can watch it every day is going to encourage me to consume. I will go and buy Pink and Britney Spears albums. I’ve got Destiny’s Child albums, but maybe I’ll go buy the Beyonce album, too. I’m easily influenced by music. I’m a huge fan of commercials — I was talking to a friend of mine about this — but I’m of the first generation to have grown up with MTV during our formative years and I’ve been hugely influenced by music videos — those short clips of amazing and interesting video and sound. My attention span is short, and if you can keep my interest before I zone out, then I’m sold on whatever it is you have to sell — clothes, music, sex, car insurance. Pair your product with some hot pop stars, and I’m a drooling mess.

I admit I’m guilty of doing something I shouldn’t have done, but I’ll make up for it.

That three minute, gladiator commercial was produced by Abbot Mead Vickers, BBDO London. Go view the commercials at bbdo.com — they’re all awesome. You can watch the Pepsi commercial here.

Also — the Asian film festival starts tonight! You can finally see the Hero (Flash site) on the big screen!! It’s the opening film tonight. It’s an amazingly beautiful and tuoching film. There’s also a wonderful Korean film I think I’m going to recommend my mother see about a woman who doesn’t let her husband suck the life out of her.

“…[T]he project would find Theron playing a futuristic assassin known for her extreme style, cool attitude and tight clothes.”

I only hope Theron can do her justice…but oh man, just imagine the merchandising! Little Aeon Fluxes loitering on all the shelves…

More about it here, too.