Archive for the ‘friends’ Category

New year, new boys

Friday, January 6th, 2006

new years was wonderful. and i didn’t even suffer any jet lag. well i slept a lot in the car, but road trips always lull me to sleep. marg’s friend in connecticut and her boyfriend were fun to lunch with. and their place was beautiful. nate & sara’s place is beautiful. it snowed all night on new year’s eve. i met a few new people i really enjoyed. we talked about boys and breaking up and being single. we drank all night (and i didn’t get sick). i fell asleep on top of a beagle, but i swear i wasn’t drunk. i got to see mike’s grandma’s place (now his parents’) where he spent part of his childhood. i missed out on the south jersey tour because the trip was so short, but there will be another one — can’t miss out on the nuclear tour or marg’s house, and i haven’t yet seen jay’s house either. i got to finish off the trip with an amazing portuguese lunch in the ironbound neighborhood with mike & marg, and marg’s sister and boyfriend.

i have to admit, though, that i got home and was feeling a little blue. the rush of the end of the year and holiday trips kept my mind going, but once i got back, i didn’t know what to do with myself. i’ve vegged out every night this week — watching tv and hanging out with ed & his ineke away from ineke, tuck. but i went to yoga tonight and had a good time and i’m forcing myself to write so i can feel less aimless.

while mindlessly watching tv (and one of the scariest episodes of the simpsons i’ve ever seen) i was browsing personals. i’m not ready for dating yet or trying to meet people, but i’ve been starting to check out the personals on yahoo and match and just seeing what kinds of people are out there. i swam through loads of search results and finally picked out three that i thought might be good matches, for, you know, in like two months when i feel ready to email them. but ed nixed two of them for being psychos. someone should offer a service where they review your profile picks and offer an expert opinion — especially facial analysis — it’s amazing what someone with expertise in facial expressions can see. of your five picks, ms. ahn, i’m afraid that this one is lying, these two clearly look like they have stalkerish tendencies, and this one has obviously falsified his photos. try again.

Skin deep

Monday, September 19th, 2005

Saturday I went shopping with the girls — something I haven’t done since high school. Didn’t buy anything, but spent 5 hours at the mall. And it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, girls still end up feeling self conscious about something, and usually several things. We talked about ballet classes — how one of us went to a ballet school that didn’t take girls with fat mothers, another one got told she needed to see an orthopedic surgeon when she was six. I took ballet off and on just for fun and I remember being in high school and my ballet teacher told me my legs were crooked and to quit riding bicycles cause it was deforming my legs. Every time I’m in front of a mirror standing up straight, I look at the back of my knees where she said I was crooked and can’t help but think of her.

And the four of us — each of us is young, attractive, healthfully thin (I was the heaviest girl there and I can hardly be called fat) and successful to boot, and I don’t think there was any one of us that didn’t feel somehow inadequate, or had some memory of feeling inadequate at some time in our lives.

Moving again

Friday, April 22nd, 2005

I started a new job two months ago, but didn’t physically move so I’ve been enjoying the company of my old team mates who I still sit next to, while also enjoying my new team mate who I communicate frequently with even if I don’t see her every day. But today I had to pack up all my things so facilities could move me tonight, and we’ve been joking about it — they got a new contractor (Jay!) on Monday and need the space — but it was really sad. We’ve all been sitting there for so long now. And I have these daily rituals — tea and snack breaks with Danan, smoke breaks (whether I smoke or not) with Ed. Lunch with everyone every day. Conversations on all manner of topics — even if I don’t want to talk, there’s always something interesting to listen to — especially when the two Indian boys start on a topic :)

I know that the new space’ll be great — another wonderful window spot, closer to a micro kitchen, right next to a balcony, and right next to my co-worker, but I’m really going to miss those boys…

Passive blogging

Monday, March 14th, 2005

I’ve been a terrible blogger. I think reading Ed’s travel blog, with his multiple updates in one day is making me feel a) an itch to go to new places and b) like a lazy writer. The last few months I’ve held a lot of things in — like I’ve been holding my breath or something. I’m not even writing at home on paper. There’s been so much going on the last couple of months — enough to make me feel overwhelmed, and I’ve shared little of it here. Everyday I walk around with a running commentary in my head about the things I want to point out to you and share with you — things I don’t want to forget, things that seem immediately important but then less so as the day goes on and I’ve run out of time or energy to stay up for another half hour or so to sit and write something for myself.

And even now as I’m sitting here typing in front of the fire, I’m trying to recall all the thoughts I’ve had recently — those ones I didn’t want to forget…and I guess it’s ok if I don’t remember them all because this is just a warmer up exercise.

New car

Friday, February 11th, 2005

I bought my first car, a used Audi TT. I’ve been driving that Escort for 10 years — anything would’ve been a step up and I was thinking of getting another little affordable hatchback, but we’ve got a Subaru already, so I got myself a fun little car instead. The only complaints I have about it are 1) backing out is a little bit of work since rearward visibility is partially limited due to the placement and shape of the C-pillars, and 2) it’s too easy to shift into 4th gear when I’m trying to shift into 6th. I’ve only done it a couple of times and now that I know about it, I pull the shift knob to the right and down when I shift from 5th gear instead of straight down. Other than that, she’s quiet and smooth and handles beautifully. And she’s easy on the eyes to boot.

I also start a new job in a little over a week after President’s Day. I’ll be leaving my group and joining another, but I will finally be a full time employee again. I’m very excited about the change though I’ll miss the hell out of working with Ed and probably spend less quality time with him than I already do. But he’s got exciting things coming up for him, too.

Theater and art

Sunday, November 21st, 2004

We went and saw Ben Franklin: Unplugged by Josh Kornbluth. And it was great. I thought at first that I might not enjoy it, but once he got going, I loved it.

On Saturday night, we went and saw a Dance Visions performance. A gal from work was performing (and I love dance) and that was awesome, too. There’s another performance on January 21st and 22nd that we will be attending featuring three of the choreographers from Saturday night’s show, including Natasha Carlitz.

It’s always a fascinating thing to see people out of the context you know them in. We ran into Josh Kornbluth after his show and took a photo — and I saw him briefly, but to see and hear him out of character made him a slightly different person than the one I’d created for him. And finding out Natasha was a dancer and choreographer gave her a depth that she didn’t have before in our limited work related interactions. I think everyone is fascinating in some way.

Dead Hensons

Friday, October 15th, 2004

Oh…lovely night! I’ve been working hard so I haven’t had much time for myself, but I spent the night with my girlfriend and had an awesome time. Saw The Dead Hensons and giddily danced to muppet tunes at the Hemlock at Polk and Post. They were an incredibly fun live band. And we had drinks and talked. And I got a cab ride home with a sci fi fan and we talked about tv shows and now I’m home and sleepy but feeling warm and fuzzy :)

More misc crap…

Thursday, October 7th, 2004

Shaun of the Dead = Funny. They did an excellent job building up anticipation.

I had an excellent day — had a really good lunch with a good friend — he and I are very in sync in the way we think about things. I love talking to him because of that — because he gets everything. He made a comment that’s been stuck with me all day — that I’m coming full circle. It’s funny and sort of true. I’m jazzed about work again and got to work on something fun for me all day. I found my motivation again — real motivation. It’s different than the motivation that I started the job with, but it’s working.

New search engine. It’s got a lot of stuff on the page. I’m not a big fan of that. How often are you going to need to sort search results by domain? Why so many different types of ratings? I do like the related keywords though. That’s pretty cool.

My and my monkey

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

Oh my god…this is such a funny song. I’m not sure yet if I like Robbie Williams because I’ve only heard a little bit of him. Apparently he’s a megastar everywhere but in the U.S. This song (lyrics) was perfect for our Vegas trip:

In walked this big, bad-ass baboon into my bedroom
with 3 monkey whores
“Hi, my name is Sunshine. These are my girls.
Lace my palm with silver baby oh yeah
and they’ll rock your world”

(Though none of us ordered any monkey whores.)

Back from Vegas

Monday, September 27th, 2004

Las Vegas was awesome. We had a crazy, ill tempered, swearing shuttle driver takes us to San Jose airport. Ed got there at sunrise and was drunk by the time we got to the hotel in the mid-afternoon. The Hotel (part of Mandalay Bay) was nice looking, but dark. Everything was cutely named “The ___” including “the tp” for the toilet paper. And black. The beach at Mandalay Bay with the wave pool is great (except everyone leaves their towel lying around so there are towel mountains every so many feet in the sand). I went to my first strip joint in the states (but left unfortunately early — I, unlike most of the rest of the group, sadly did not smell like strippers in the morning.) I played some Black Jack — not a huge fan of gambling, but I broke even so I did well :) And I got caught trying to steal a fork from House of Blues by the coolest waitress ever.

Restaurants we ate at:

  • Red, White, & Blue (Mandalay Bay): sucked
  • Nine Fine Irishmen (NY, NY) — didn’t eat there, but the food looked awesome. And I love Irish music.
  • House of Blues (Mandalay Bay) — yummy
  • Raffles Cafe (Mandalay Bay) — ok, but wouldn’t go back
  • Pyramid Cafe (Luxor) — yummy breakfast
  • Fiamma (MGM Grand) — pricey, but incredibly yummy

Ghostbar at the Palms (oh my god, the beautiful women at the Palms!!) was interesting. And played decent music (as in music I’ve heard before including Beastie Boys) earlier in the night — pre 2/3am, and the view is amazing. And Club Paradise was the strip club we went to. That was nice — I’d go back, and everyone else enjoyed it way more than I got to.

Headed to Vegas

Friday, September 24th, 2004

I haven’t spent a weekend in Vegas in years. Ed’s birthday…he’s already on his way — he was so excited to drive out tonight. Some of us got together and got him an iPod for his birthday and he loves that thing, loves listening to music and hitting the road. Last weekend it was L.A.; this weekend it’s Vegas. And I’m not a huge fan of Vegas, but I love the idea of going and spending his birthday there because he loves Vegas. And I’ll love it because of that. And because I’ll be with some of my absolute favorite people.

Stunt Monkey show

Thursday, September 2nd, 2004

I went and saw a punk show on Sunday night — part of the KSCU’s Stop, Drop and Rock at the Gaslighter in Campbell — cute little venue. I love shows in old theaters. Stunt Monkey were awesome. It was a little weird though — the two bands that played before Stunt Monkey didn’t excite a lively crowd — there were piles of people standing in front of the stage — many of them young girls in short skirts. I don’t remember there being so many cutely dressed girls at the punk shows I used to go to. But they’d just stand there in front of the stage. Not moving. It looked really weird. I don’t know how you can stand so close to the music and not move. I’m not graceful, and I can’t dance, but music — no matter what kind — gets under my skin, makes me tap my feet, bob my head, wiggle my hips.

But when Stunt Monkey came on — most of those cute little girls were gone, and the mosh pit opened up for a second to let a handful of people tear across the floor a couple of times, then throughout the rest of the show, these goofy ass motherfuckers took turns in the middle of the floor to dance with each other. Old eighties moves, poorly done, but I think almost purposefully so — the running man, the sprinkler, some bad break dancing. All of it entertaining to no end. Other peoples’ energy is so infectious.

Weekend’s end

Monday, July 26th, 2004

Long weekend over; looking forward to work. I saw a girlfriend of mine I haven’t seen in months. She got into a new relationship about a year ago and I’ve only seen her a few times since then. And I’ve started a couple of new jobs in that time frame and I always tend to get really sucked into a new job for some months so I haven’t really been available either. But it was so nice to see her and catch up — I feel like she always understands where I am in life. And I like that — that not having to explain everything. And I like to know there are other people who go through and think about the same shit I do.

It’s been a strange month for people around me. Losing loved ones, losing freedoms, losing jobs, momentarily losing their sense of reason. And it’s funny how you tend to want to group things like this together because somehow it will make more sense if we try to attribute some greater force to a set of random, mischievous events. There is not bad karma clogging up the air, there is no grand scheme of punishment, no bad juju. I am not the central point of outwardly radiating bad luck or misfortune. Things just happens. Nothing to do with me or anything else.

The weekend has been a whirlwind of movies, movies, movies. Gangs of New York — really sucky and really long. Half way through the movie, they threw in a brothel orgy scene to try to keep your attention for the second half. Seemed to work for us. Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy both excellent movies. The Fast and the Furious. Could watch that over and over again. Must rent 2 Fast 2 Furious. Starsky and Hutch — funny as hell. Ed says I’m really a 12 year old boy.

Smiling strangers

Friday, July 16th, 2004

We had a stranger come over to our house tonight to pick up the boxes that’ve been sitting in the hall for over 2 months. Ed had arranged it, but was in the bathroom when the guy got there, so I was chatting with him and he was the nicest guy. Friendly and talkative — in the five minutes I had alone with him we covered a range of topics — our homes, our moves, the things we loved, the people we loved, friends who’d passed away, moving on and away and settling into some place new. He really brightened my day.

I was walking around the city last weekend — still one of my favorite things to do — and there’s nothing nicer than a stranger smiling at you or saying hello. Because you don’t expect it; it catches you off guard in the tendest way. And makes you feel so good.

It’s also nice to have someone you don’t know so well — and even those you do — take a personal interest in you. I don’t necessarily mean in a romantic way, though that’s sweet, too. But in any way it’s sweet. When someone agrees to help you with your code when you ask, or comes over and wants to see your space and take the cookie you’ve offered, or wants to sit across from you at a large table full of people and strike up a conversation, or goes and gets Google goodies for your son because you expressed an interest, or wants to join you for a movie, a lunch, a night out, or comments on your blog. It feels good to know that other people think about you when you’re not around.

Our housewarming party is this Saturday. I’ve never been a big party thrower. My roommates are both much more experienced, and god, it’s work, but I’m so looking forward to it. Because all my favorite people will be there. And the cooking and preparation for it all is really time consuming and labor intensive, but it doesn’t have to be. But I’m doing it because it’s my way of telling everyone we’ve invited how fond I am of them. Because there’s not a single person that we’ve invited that I don’t feel that way about.

Saturday night jazz at Pearl’s

Sunday, June 27th, 2004

I don’t get out much, but I had the best time last night. We all got dolled up and went to North Beach (the three of us girls and Ed). We had dinner at Figaro’s. The food was mediocre, and the wait staff a little clumsy, but our waitress was a hot, blonde woman from the Czech Republic with the just the slightest (adorable) little accent.

But jazz at Pearl’s was awesome. I’m not a huge jazz fan, but I love music. And Clairdee, the vocalist, was a great live performer. I couldn’t take my eyes off her (she’s got incredibly beautiful eyes, too), but when she’d stop singing, I was mesmerized by the saxophonist (whose name I can’t remember or I’d share it with you).

North Beach is a happening little place. It’s funny because every time I’m there I think the same thing. We got there late — about 11pm, and got out of Pearl’s at 1:30AM and the place was still crawling with crowds and crowds of people. There’s always such an energy when there’re that many people in one place — not always a good energy in localized pockets — there was a fight across the street in front of Vesuvio when we got out of Pearl’s — but it’s almost like static electricity — the crowds, the heightened emotional charge, the constant feedback. There’s a high I get from being in crowds like that — everyone out doing the same thing, having fun, hanging out, enjoying themselves and each other. And me there with them, doing the same thing.

Biking in my head

Tuesday, April 13th, 2004

I went mountain biking at Skegg’s Point this weekend. I ate it a couple of times — have some scratches on my shin, ankle, and some bruises on my thighs. It’s interesting how little it physically hurts when you tumble off your bike. In part because you’re travelling so slowly — I fell twice early in the ride where it was fairly steep and rocky/rutty — and because you just don’t fall that far. I fell forward the second time and the bicycle tire bounced off my helmet — and there was something surreal and mellow about it — the gentle way the tire’s spokes (it landed sideways) bounced on top of my head, and my brain trying to sort out how it is that the bike was in such a position as to bonk me on the head like that.

I was frustrated early. My body was tired on Sunday — a full week of running, weights, climbing, yoga, pilates, and working longer hours, and not getting enough sleep to accomodate it all — I was worn out. And I get angry when my body doesn’t have enough energy — it hurts and that pain and frustration translates into anger.

Shortly after that second fall though, I realized I don’t have to keep up. I don’t have to feel bad that I’m keeping anyone behind. This is only my second time out on a mountain bike and this isn’t exactly a beginner’s trail. And it’s amazing what my body can do if I let my mind go. I retreat into my head in a different way — when I got really tired riding and my breathing was
ragged, I’d slow down, inhale, enjoy the incredibly beautiful surroundings and the quiet, quiet, calm — it was a perfect day for a ride — not too hot, but warm in the shade, and my body would calm down, too, stop racing so hard.

There is a great deal of satisfaction in exhausting yourself physically, in draining everything you have to meet some end goal — to finish a ride or a run, or to climb one more route. It is much more satisfying to stretch my aching muscles than to stretch fresh ones — just like everything tastes better when you’re hungry than when you’re full — I am more aware and appreciative of my body when I can feel it in some way. And let me tell, you, I can feel it now…and it’s telling me I need to sleep…

Tahoe weekend

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004

This past weekend was perfect in Tahoe! We rented a cozy little place in South Lake Tahoe, skied on Saturday, cross country skied on Sunday, and enjoyed the large 12 person hot tub whenever we got the chance.

For my third time skiing (first time using a lift – fell on my ass quite a few times just coming off the lift :), I don’t think I did too badly. Unfortunately, there are no pictures to prove it. The album is rather meager, but up.