I’m sure you’ve all read about the teenaged girls that got charged with disseminating child porn because they sent nude photos of themselves to other kids. Think that was about mid January. When I was in socal on the weekend just after that news broke, I asked my fifteen year old son if any of his female friends had ever sent naked photos of themselves to him. He said no.
The next day I get a random email from a teenaged girl. I ignored the first one — she just sent a head shot, no message. Then she sent me a blank email. Then she sent me three photos of her. One of her just lying on a bed, one of her pulling her shirt up to her chest, then the last one of her in her underwear. I emailed her right away and told her she had the wrong email address. She replied she was sorry and embarrassed. I told her I’d just delete the photos, but did she really want to send them to whoever she meant to. Sorry, but it’s the mom in me I added.
Seriously now. I’m all for healthy sexual expression, but you have to be aware of what you’re getting into — you have to accept the risk that those photos are most likely going to be shared with someone other than the intended recipient. And if you’re careless, they’re going to end up in the wrong inbox entirely.
I was telling a friend of mine the troubles I’ve been having lately with the 15 year old. His other mom called me last week to pretty much just yell at me that I wasn’t strict enough. And she’s right but that’s my reactionary response to the super strictness I grew up with — and where did that lead to?! Trouble. I don’t get what he’s going through though. Maybe it’s just being that age. He has so much that I didn’t have — a family that expresses love and open communication. Maybe those are the things I fixate on having missed. Maybe there are other things he’s missing that I’m not that aware of. All I know is that parenting is hard — and I think my kid is generally a good kid. I don’t know what I’d do if he was more troubled.
One of the things I’ve realized recently is that parents aren’t any more mature than their kids. Sometimes they’re less mature. You grow up looking to these adult figures for guidance and support, then you become mature and you look at them and think…huh…I’m more responsible than that! I wonder what Josh’ll turn into it, but whatever it is, I hope it makes him happy. And if he’s more responsible and settled than me, I’d be even happier.