The cure all

There’s nothing a hot tub, a bath bomb, and Nine Inch Nails can’t make better. Uplifting? No. But dark contemplation and a sense of relief and relaxation? Yes.

I won’t let you fall apart
We’ll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
I’ll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side

Relationships are complicated things. My sister got robbed at gunpoint in Oakland just recently and it scared the hell out of me to hear her tight little voice on the phone just after it happened and I didn’t even care about it — about everything she’d lost — all I could think after I realized she was safe, was that she was safe. They didn’t hurt her and she was safe. And what a vulnerable place that is — loving someone so much that you’d give anything for her safety.

We’re in this together now

None of them can stop us now.

When it comes down to giving things up and making decisions, everything’s a compromise. A setting aside of one thing for another. Someone told me once that every time you make a decision, you grieve for the things you decided against. Maybe I’ve mentioned it before because it’s been stuck in my head ever since, but she’s right. You give up one thing to pursue something else and it’s a loss, and a part of you grieves for what could have been. In love, in careers, in life and life threatening situations, you can’t have everything you want…you wouldn’t possibly know what to with it all.

It didn’t turn out the way you wanted it do, did it

My two favorite albums are The Fragile (Left) and Things Falling Apart. I love all of Trent Reznor’s music, but these two albums let me sink into myself and let my thoughts run their course.

Do you know how far this has gone?
Just how damaged have I become?

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