Almost a year since my mother’s death

Friday is the one year anniversary of my mother’s death. And I think that coming up on it has been harder on me than I realized. I keep crying in the car. Which is somehow where I think of her most often. And I haven’t been talking about it with my friends. Tonight I told someone I’ve only recently met about the accident. Did I tell you how my mother died? Driving on the freeway, slipped into the shoulder, over corrected, went out of control, banged her head real hard on the frame. Died instantly. People said it was violent, the car rolling over and over and bouncing so high in the air. People said she was ejected out of the window. Only the violent part is true.

A friend of mine wrote me the most touching email. It made me cry — in a good way, knowing he’s keeping his fingers crossed for me and I didn’t even know about it. I went for a run at midnight tonight. I know it sounds obsessive, but in my semi fragile mental state, I couldn’t afford not to. Between the calming effects of the run, and the warm fuzzies from his email, I think I can safely fall asleep now.

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